Today, I figured out that I am much more sick that I realized. My sickness is like kidney failure: you cannot see the sickness on the outside, and if untreated, the person will die.
Some things I saw today that affected me: I was outside before midday Friday prayers and a large percentage of the people who are outside at that time were like me. They were outside because they were homeless and they were homeless because they had mental disorders. It was disturbing.
It has been six months since I was disbarred and the other events that caused a lot of mental pain. I have not improved in that time; I am more sick.
For the entire day (it’s after 8 pm here), my body has physically been in terrible pain and emotionally, I have been in terrible pain. I did not expect that.
I knew I was very sick. I am shocked at how dramatically I underestimated my illness.