I had a great life, but now I live in a nightmare of depression and anxiety. Psilocybin and MDMA will cure me. I merely need the opportunity to live in safety and security.
I have been a committed prosecutor and an impassioned teacher. I graduated law school in the top 3% of my class, I earned a bachelor’s of science in psychology, and I received 15 computer certifications. I enjoy working hard, and I love helping other people.
I have depression, generalized anxiety disorder, complex post traumatic stress disorder, and panic disorder. I have tried many medicines, but few of them are helpful. My disorders are so bad that if I don’t take modafinil, venlafaxine, diazepam, alprazolam, caffeine, and vitamin B complex every day, then I won’t eat.
In the last eight years, I have struggled with homelessness. A man groped my penis while I was sleeping on the street. A different time, a man came into my campsite, approached me, and pulled his penis out of his pants. The police have robbed me three times. Other people have robbed me eleven times. I was a domestic violence victim. Five men tried to kill me because I tried to stop them from abusing a dog. A man attacked me because I discovered that he robbed me. My life is a nightmare.
Two years ago, I had the opportunity to take 40 mg of MDMA each day. It dramatically improved my symptoms, and I was able to do some work and earn some money. Most people feel euphoria or high when they take MDMA. My disorders are so severe that I never felt high. At best, I stopped feeling anguish when I took MDMA. I have not taken MDMA since then because I can’t afford it.
I live in Mexico, and last year, I tried psilocybin mushrooms. My disorders are so severe that the mushrooms do not cause hallucinations. I took them multiple times and never had hallucinations. One time, I took six times as many mushrooms as would normally cause intense hallucinations for a person, but my consciousness wasn’t altered at all. Nevertheless, the psilocybin reduced my symptoms for weeks afterwards.
Mushrooms are starting to grow again here, and I can use them to heal.
This is the lowest point of my life. After years of rough living, I have constant anguish and I am out of strength. For many months, I have considered suicide. But I can heal. The plan is simple. I rent basic shelter in the country so I am away from stressful noises and I am close to wild mushrooms. I manage my symptoms with the medicines listed above and with MDMA. I need food, of course.
As I am healing, I will continue to write about my experiences. With your help, I can stop spending my time writing about basic survival needs, and I can write about the safety and healing power of these medicine.
Status as of 18:00 UTC -5, 30 April 2018
$34.76 per month: not enough to cover the medicine I need to survive