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Watching Frankenweenie
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The film included “Dutch Day”
- Reminded me of Dutch Days in Fulton
- Reminded me of Mayfest in Mt. Carroll
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Dog is hit and killed by car.
- Reminds me of Jenna.
- A friend asked me to make a FAQ to describe my symptoms. I think about writing about triggers, but it seems too complicated, so I keep watching the movie.
- Images and thoughts about Jenna keep entering my mind, and I am getting more depressed. The point of watching the movie was to escape for a little while, so I decide to try to write a little something about triggers.
- Jenna loved to play fetch and she was so affectionate we called her the love terrorist. The dog in the movie reminded me of her.
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- While searching for things I had written about Jenna, I come across my writings from 13 June 2013 when Justine’s abuse got out of control and I slept half of the night outside of a police station and then went to a homeless shelter. More pain and triggers.
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Found a PDF document that I had not posted in the ARDC documents section.
- To prepare it for posting, I need to use software that came with a scanner I purchased one month before law school started. Memories of a happy anticipation.
- I bought the scanner with the help of my then girlfriend. Memories of happiness and not being alone.
- The relationship ended painfully and oddly and she hasn’t spoken to me even though I want to try to resolve how it ended.
- Plus, during our relationship, we had a fight and she said something I didn’t expect. I was so surprised, I didn’t say anything. After we broke up, I realized that my silence hurt her deeply, and I feel guilty about it.
- All of these memories triggered by opening Adobe Acrobat 7.0.
- I found out that I had not posted the document when I tried to link to it. To see that the document was not there, I had to scroll through the thousands of pages of ARDC documents, most of which are incredibly painful.
- Moving the Nelson Mandela post from Facebook to my website caused me to watch a video with wonderful singing, which triggered memories of Lauren. I still have unresolved pain about never having heard her sing.