Posted: 29 April 2017
Updated: 15 July 2017
My injuries are invisible to other people: severe depression, generalized anxiety disorder, complex post traumatic stress disorder, and panic disorder.
People understand visible health problems: broken bones or influenza.
Some health problems are invisible, such as diabetes, but people can understand them by accessing cultural knowledge.
I tried to make my health problems visible.
I tried to help people understand my invisible injuries.
As of April 2017, I accept that I failed.
Honesty and radical openness: “It’s too much!”
At 10 years old, I vowed to not lie.
By 20 years old, my childish ideal had evolved: I aspired to not lie, to tell the truth, and to be open.
For 31 years, I have devoted significant resources to developing and practicing this ideal.
When trying to make my health problems visible and helping people understand my invisible injuries, I was honest and radically open.
It failed. A common response was, “It’s too much!”
My ideal of truth, non-lying, and openness contributed to the destruction of my health and my life.
I shall change this ideal.
I have no predictions about the process or result of changing this major foundation of my character.
Transform a life, transform the world