For your entertainment, some recent events
- In November 2016, in Guadalajara, I had to deal with another violent incident. I did not tell anyone because, in part, I feel that everyone is fatigued by the details of my life.
- On 06 January 2017, I had to deal with another violent incident.
- Prior to 15 months ago, I think I only experienced one incident that included actual violence in over 20 years. (In 2013, a neighbor of the person I was staying with punched me in the face and said she was calling her friends to attack me.) In the last 15 months, a hostel owner attacked me, I stopped an insane episode of domestic violence and was then attacked for it, (oops! I forgot that in 2013, Justine attacked me multiple times), a dog-stealing homeless-guy attacked me a few days after stealing my dog and then stole more of my stuff, plus the two recent incidents in November and January. Violence and poverty are commonly together. Violence and homelessness is almost always together. I think my chances of being killed are equal to the chance I will actively kill myself.
- DHL refuses to deliver my care package from the US. These are the items collected from April to July 2016, more than five months ago.
- I have one pair of shorts, and today, a small hole turned into a large rip in the crotch. I have pajama pants and swim shorts. But in the package that DHL is holding hostage, there are two pairs of new pants.
- As of this writing, I am back to sleeping on the street because, in part, of the most recent violence. Sleeping on the street makes package delivery even more difficult.
- In December 2016, I made a list of highly plausible plans to escape the pit of poverty. Because I will soon die if I cannot radically change my life, my effort level has been at literal do-or-die. I tried to implement five ideas. I almost succeeded with each of them, but in every case, my health hampered my success, and with at least two plans, my poor health was the only reason the plan did not work.
- My do-or-die effort-level noticeably degraded my health. I would need many paragraphs to describe all of the pain, blood, and limitations that burden every second of every day.
- A shoulder strap on my backpack is breaking. If I can fix it by hand, it will require a ton of energy that I do not have. It needs a surge machine. Finding someone with a surger and unpacking my backpack, especially while living on the streets, is a different set of daunting problems.
Inventory of key items
- Medicine: one useful accomplishment is that I have about three months of most medicines. This reduces the stresses of needing to find the medicine, worrying about whether I can afford the medicine, and running out. It also gives me the liberty to go to smaller towns that might not have the medicine.
- Cash: MX$1300 in my pocket; US$351.61 in PayPal; approximately US$56 weekly from friends. The uncertainty of future money makes all decisions risky.
- Hotel days remaining: zero.
- Hope: none.
More details to come?
I started writing this 24 hours ago, and I had planned to include more information, but I know from experience that if I do not publish this now, then it will never be published. Furthermore, I have been saying for a long time that if my life degrades enough, there will be a gap between the moment when I am too incapacitated to communicate and when I die. I have also said for years that it is impossible to predict when that moment will come and what form it will take. The most recent violent event was impossible to predict, and it is nearly indisputable proof that my life is not like a movie: I am not trying to overcome one specific obstacle. Rather, I live a life full of wide-ranging and bizarre risks. No amount of vigilance, by me and without help, can protect me. (I must sleep, and that is one time I am vulnerable.) The only way to prevent my death from this maze of horrors is to have sufficient help escaping the maze.
Some ways you can help
An abbreviated, non-comprehensive list of actions that will help me; with limited explanation; roughly in descending order of usefulness to me; excluding highly improbable events:
- A significant lump-sum cash gift in the tens of thousands of dollars so I could spend money to fix problems without worrying that I will not have money for food next month. A single benefactor is possible, but a group effort seems more plausible.
- Consistent, smaller gifts. As little as US$2 per week is helpful to me because I can spend money to fix problems without worrying that I will not have money for food next week. If you want an option other than the preset options I have created, I, or with help from a friend, can create an option that is better for you.
- A one-time gift. If you are not already sending recurring gifts, and you want to send a lump-sum gift that is less than eleventy gazillion dollars, please consider sending a smaller one-time gift and authorizing modest weekly gifts. In any event, if I had more cash, I would have more options. One of my plans from December 2016 failed because I could not produce the requisite starting costs, which was a trivial amount from the perspective of a developed country.
- Encourage other people to help me. When individual people each contribute a little effort, miracles can happen. Stonehenge was built without the wheel, horses, oxen, iron tools, or many other things. It was the result of relatively weak, uneducated, small actions by many people. In 1985, I was 10-years-old and there was a horrible famine in Ethiopia. Individually, I was unable to help them. I started a fundraiser at my elementary school, and children donated pennies, nickles, and dimes for a couple of months. Together, we raised over US$450, which is worth $1,010 in 2016 dollars. I did not create that money: I merely helped coordinate children to each give a small amount, and our collective strength was shocking.
Some friends, not family, lovingly help me. Without the emergency help of a few friends in the last two months, I would have died in Guadalajara or in a nearby town. Seven years of decline have weakened me, however, and despite their help, I am still deteriorating and this is either the lowest point of my life or the second lowest. When I was locked in UK detention and did not eat or drink for nine (more?) days is the only possible rival. (A typical human will die in 11-14 days without food or water. No one can live longer than 14 days without food or water. That was one of the many times I spoke with Death.)
If you desire to help, today is better than tomorrow because it is not guaranteed that tomorrow will be soon enough to change my path.