This is tragic or funny, depending how you read it:
- I am obscenely poor…
- Because I have had multiple illnesses for many years.
- I have found a medicine that science says can cure many of my problems: mushrooms.
- After eleven months of trying to get mushrooms, I finally collected enough for a few weeks.
- But they will rot after a couple of days if I don’t have a food dehydrator.
- I have made plans for this day by trying to buy a food dehydrator for six months.
- I didn’t have the money to buy the food dehydrator in advance.
- In the last three days, I have been to every store in this town, from Walmart to Mexican home-appliance-chains to family owned stores, and no one has a food dehydrator in stock.
- It’s possible to order a food dehydrator from the internet.
- I can’t order from the internet because the cheapest dehydrator is MXN$1399, but my PayPal card only has MXN$1189. In a store, I was going to pay with a combination of cash and card.
- I also can’t order from the internet because I must move in three days. Even if I could afford the rent, which I can’t, this apartment is too stressful. Besides the non-stop noise, mold grows on everything, including my clothes.
- So I possess the medicine that can cure me, and I will literally watch it rot from maggots.
Why do I need a food dehydrator for my #mushrooms? Maggots. Please. I have US$10.80 and MXN$1800 (US$90.27). If I buy a food dehydrator, I won't have rent. The #psilocybin is working but I need a little time to heal from years of homelessness. https://t.co/XLFMTYWXur pic.twitter.com/FXriUZQWcb
— Hibernating (@HunterHoganNOW) June 1, 2018
I tried to buy a food dehydrator, but stores in Mexico don't have them in stock—one must buy it on the internet. But I can choose from four different popcorn makers! Or I could buy a mini chocolate-fountain! I went to dozens of stores over three days. Frustrating. pic.twitter.com/NhONgn6ISp
— Hibernating (@HunterHoganNOW) June 9, 2018
Morning medicine—left▶right. Naproxen/lidocaine gel—back pain. Vitamins B1/2/5/6/12 iron & zinc. Antacid/antigas. Diazepam. Loratadine: moldy apt—see white fuzz. Omeprazole. Venlafaxine. Modafinil. More meds all day—barely able to cope, not heal. ~US$6.71/day +food +rent. No $. pic.twitter.com/5FNDjusboU
— Hibernating (@HunterHoganNOW) June 8, 2018
This is just one example of comedic tragedy in my life. I could include some links here asking for financial help, but the lack of more help is merely tragic, not funny.