Comedic tragedy

This is tragic or funny, depending how you read it:

  1. I am obscenely poor…
  2. Because I have had multiple illnesses for many years.
  3. I have found a medicine that science says can cure many of my problems: mushrooms.
  4. After eleven months of trying to get mushrooms, I finally collected enough for a few weeks.
  5. But they will rot after a couple of days if I don’t have a food dehydrator.
  6. I have made plans for this day by trying to buy a food dehydrator for six months.
  7. I didn’t have the money to buy the food dehydrator in advance.
  8. In the last three days, I have been to every store in this town, from Walmart to Mexican home-appliance-chains to family owned stores, and no one has a food dehydrator in stock.
  9. It’s possible to order a food dehydrator from the internet.
  10. I can’t order from the internet because the cheapest dehydrator is MXN$1399, but my PayPal card only has MXN$1189. In a store, I was going to pay with a combination of cash and card.
  11. I also can’t order from the internet because I must move in three days. Even if I could afford the rent, which I can’t, this apartment is too stressful. Besides the non-stop noise, mold grows on everything, including my clothes.
  12. So I possess the medicine that can cure me, and I will literally watch it rot from maggots.

This is just one example of comedic tragedy in my life. I could include some links here asking for financial help, but the lack of more help is merely tragic, not funny.

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